


What it is the Johnathan Chronicles part 3

by Elle_Dread



Series: McGregor Chronicles [6]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Abuse, Brother/Brother Incest, Character Death, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Domestic Violence, Drugs, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Ephebophilia, Father/Son Incest, Forced Ejaculation, Forced Everything, Gore, Human Trafficking, M/M, Non-Consensual Bondage, Non-Consensual Violence, Parent/Child Incest, Pedophilia, Torture, Uncle/Nephew Incest, Underage Rape/Non-con, forced bondage
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 09:36:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17958044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elle_Dread/pseuds/Elle_Dread
Summary: John is 14 years old. His life is dark and tiring. He doesn't know what he has to live for anymore. So many things seem to be going wrong for him and the only thing he can hope is at the end of the year they are both still there. That the Brotherhood hasn't destroyed them. Will he be able to find the hope to keep going while trapped in his own personal hell inflicted on him by his father and the cult his father belongs to that believes in using children for sexual pleasure? Or is he going to break under the pressure of what seems like never-ending torment?





	1. Intro

Ok, it's been a lot longer than I was hoping it would be. I said a while ago that I would catch Will up and start posting again once the timelines were in sync and I was hoping that would be after the holidays. Well, here we are and many of you are going "Did you stop writing John's story?" "Where is he?" "Please don't tell me you're leaving it where it is." I am posting this to say, I am not leaving the story hanging and I have not forgotten about him. Our beautiful redheaded boy or young man as he is slowly becoming. 

He is still here and I am still working on his version of events. I am still attempting to catch Will up a little bit he just happens to be a very wordy person. John's story left off at the new Millennium. Will's story is now taking place in October of 1999 so while they are almost caught up there is still a bit of a way to go and a lot of things happening in Will's story to get him on the same timeline as John is currently on. I swear to you I haven't given up John's story and I will not give up on John's story just there is a lot going on that you need to hear from Will in order to understand a lot of the things John is observing (Will's behavioral changes) in his own story and I believe it's important not to give too many events away or move too far forward without completing where Will is at first. So I do have some ideas I would like to throw out there for all of you along with assurances that John HAS NOT BEEN FORGOTTEN! His story is continuing and you will be hearing more from him in the future hopefully a future that is somewhat close.

One of the first ideas I would like to throw out there along with working towards completing Seth's story "Weeping into the Abyss" (if you haven't read it check it out.) it would be moving my shorts from LiveJournal to AO3 to reach a wider audience. Some of these shorts will probably not be moving from LiveJournal to AO3 because I feel like they give away too much of the future but some of these shorts are written from other characters' points of view. Most of them are written in the third person (a couple are in the first person) so they look and feel more like "Weeping into the Abyss" and less like the McGregor Chronicles but they include a bunch of different scenes that Will and John are not present for. Some of these characters include Wallace Huber, Rich Swartzman, Lionel Lord, Finn Huber, Todd McQueen etc...

For example, Todd and Quinn talking while walking down the street. These things don't get seen by Will and John because they simply aren't there. Think of them as behind the scenes snapshots of what is going on in the McGregor universe when our beloved boys aren't around to see things happening. I was once told by another writer on AO3, Totallyawesomeharry that I should write every character as if they think they are the main character of the story and the shorts are an exercise in how well I can do that for me personally. However, I have to say that I do enjoy them greatly and it is always good to see a little bit of what's going on between Pat and Cole when John and Will aren't there or how Todd and Quinn's relationship looks compared to Finn and Will's or Will's and Teddy's. Some of these shorts will be very graphic and I will make sure that I post individual warnings for each one of them as I have with each chapter of the series. Yes, some of them will feature rape and abuse but there will also be some that feature lighter, happier moments.

It's always good to see if there is any humanity to be found in characters like Arthur Gables or Hank Kingly. All of these things would be found in a separate collection that would look like its own story but each chapter would be different characters just because the universe is so big with so many different characters who are each their own person. While I would probably post one short a week here I would continue to post Will's story and then when Will is closer to being caught up I would once again start posting for John.

There are actually a lot of changes taking place in the characters featured in John's part 2 that I will spoil you and make you aware of because after you read this intro I will be posting chapter 1 just to assure everyone that John is still living and breathing in the McGregor universe and that is story is not over. He is not dead after the horrific ending of part 2, I swear. And just to assure you, yes I am giving you that first chapter. I would like to thank all of you for reading and sticking with me! It's been a little over 2 years since I first started posting this series here on AO3 so thank you so much for reading and caring and commenting on my characters who I hope have grown as dear to all of you as they are to me! Please keep reading and keep commenting!

 

Let me know what you think about moving my shorts collection to AO3! I hope you enjoy the upcoming chapter.  
Elle


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John is finally home, he feels tired and like there isn't any point left in living. Not when he can't have the people he needs most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pages 3 to 10 a short chapter but, a good beginning. At least I think so. Will add corresponding chapter notices when I have corresponding chapters. **Warnings: Mental health issues, PTSD, Anxiety, depression, thoughts of suicide, thoughts of hopelessness.**

It was all said and done, and we were finally on the way home. My body was beyond sore, my life beyond broken. They had made it very clear I wasn’t supposed to even look at him anymore let alone actually talk to him, be with him. I wanted to curl up and die. My insides were twisted into knots as I laid with my head in Leo’s lap alternating between sleeping because of pure exhaustion and crying. Crying because of what he had allowed those guys to do to me, or so he thought. When really I just felt so lost because of the thought I didn’t have Pat anymore.

Because having him would mean death. Having him would mean he was gone, and I couldn’t imagine myself in a world where he wasn’t. Even if it was a world where I couldn’t be with him it was better he was in it than gone. When the plane landed I tried rubbing the sleep from my eyes finding that was an impossible task. My body was too sore and too tired. My brain too fried.

“You did great. you have no idea how much money that’s going to make the brotherhood,” Leo said again excitedly as he got in driver’s seat of his car setting his hand on my knee squeezing it making me freeze. He had no idea what he had done to me, what he had allowed them to do to me.

Him just putting his hand on my leg made my throat close. Made my body want to shrink in an impossible way. Made me want to disappear. The drive was quiet except for Dick’s snores from the back seat. It was a sunny Wednesday afternoon in the new year and new millennium and I felt like a different person.

Completely different from who I was when I had left 13 days ago for Ibiza. He was taking me home, home to my Da’s for the next day and a half to give me some air, to give me time. But after that, I was his again. His until Monday after school. I didn’t know what I was going to do with the tiny bit of freedom I would probably be allowed at my Da’s house, at the place I was supposed to call home but, no longer seemed like home at all.

“I’m going to miss you so much baby,” Leo said caressing my cheek gently making me turn to face him.

He always called me baby, just like Da, but now the name burned. Almost as if someone was setting my ears on fire every time he said it. Baby? Did you let someone rape your baby while they screamed and begged? Did you let 3 guys shove their dicks in your baby at once while they pleaded with you to make the men stop? Apparently, Leo thought so.

“I’ll miss you too,” I said picking a point above his head to stare at as I lied to him.

He pulled up into the driveway dropping me off at the front gate. Probably because he didn’t want to see my mum. Didn’t want to deal with her hysterics once I walked into the house. I numbly got out shutting the door behind me when I felt arms wrap around my waist knocking the air from my lungs. Dick.

“I’m going to miss you too baby,” he said grinding against me hard making me lean against the newly closed SUV door for support as I grabbed his hands trying to unlace them from around my waist.

I didn’t say anything. I just wanted his hands off me. I wanted to go home and skin myself with a cheese grater and I was so close to finally being able to breathe after holding my breath for what had felt like forever. I was so close to allowing myself to really breakdown instead of just spontaneous sobs that I was unable to control ripping free from my throat every time they finally stopped. Only for the act to leave me shivering and twitching clinging to the nearest solid thing there was to keep me from going slowly insane whether that was Dick’s body or Leo’s leg or the headboard of that fucking whitewashed bed covered in semen and spit and whatever else there was on it when they were done with me. 

“I know,” I answered numbly as he finally loosened his grip.

“I wish we didn’t have to take you home, but Connor really wants to see you. Probably wants to make sure you aren’t too used. Even if you think you are you’ll always be my favorite,” Dick said making me shiver.

If only I could be lucky enough. I thought bitterly. If only I could ever be used enough that he would leave me alone. I doubt it would ever happen even with all his sick punishment for me not loving him back. Not wanting to feel his hands on my skin or him inside my body, not wanting to be one with him. This was all because of him.

“Rich come on. Say goodbye. We have to get home,” Leo sighed drumming his fingers on the steering wheel.

Dick grabbed me roughly by the hair, shoving his tongue in my mouth to give my tonsils a quick swipe before letting go of me. He seemed satisfied that I understood the message he was sending with his eyes, with his actions. That I was his.

“Goodbye baby. I’ll see you Friday,” he said before opening the door and climbing into the seat I had just vacated.

I walked slowly up my driveway not expecting to hear laughter outside in the pool area but that’s what I did hear. The echo of the happiness wrapping itself around my hollow shell of a body, of a life. It only confirmed what I had figured, that life had continued without me. That maybe things had been better without me.

I sighed running and hand up my face and through my hair to push it back before I turned the doorknob walking into the kitchen to see my younger brother Will sitting at the table with James and Catty who were both staring at workbooks their brows furrowed as they focused on what was in front of them.

“HOLY SHIT!” Will screamed making me jump and take a step back as he started coming towards me his arms open as if to hug me, stopping when he saw me recoil.

“William, don’t use that language! What on…? Oh my god, love, it’s nice to see you back. How was your trip?” Mum asked me in a subdued manner.

She knew by then not to trust anything he had told her. Da had probably told her I had gone on a trip with friends for new years. That everything was normal and fine. She knew better by then though. Figuring it was probably something bad, some horror beyond what she could imagine grabbing me and taking me away.

“I’m ok,” I said numbly shrugging my shoulders wanting to wait until I was in my room to breakdown. Waiting until I was safe in the shower where the water could wash away my screams along with the feeling of what they had done if only temporarily.

“Are you…” Will started to ask.

“I said I’m ok,” I lied again, “Just tired. I’m going to go upstairs and…” I sighed.

“You don’t look ok,” Jay said startling me.

Something was different about him too. Maybe he could sense the change on me just as I could sense it on him. Something wasn’t right, but I didn’t have much time to worry about that. I really wanted to shower and find something clean to wear before Will called Pat. Before I had to say goodbye.

“Jay love, he says he’s fine. Go upstairs and get some rest love we’ll talk later,” Mum said to me and I nodded my head in thanks climbing the stairs slowly.

I pushed the lift button leaning against the wall to wait for it to come to me, the act seeming familiar yet strange all at the same time. It felt like a lifetime had passed since I had last been home. Will must have waited a few minutes before coming upstairs because I heard him purposefully make his steps loud as he approached around the corner.

“Are you ok John? Please tell me what happened. Last time I got to talk to you Leo was…what happened? I thought maybe you were…”

“What? Maybe I was what Will? Dead? If only I could be so lucky,” I snorted rolling my eyes pushing myself off the wall as the lift finally opened.

“What did they do?” Will asked me.

“What didn’t they do?” I shot back, “Are you going to call them?”

“Do you want me to? You seem upset,” Will said quietly.

“No,” I said shaking my head.

“That’s weird,” Will said, “Are you just angry because of whatever they did? Because you don’t want to be here or is it something else?”

“It’s everything,” I said.

“So, should I just leave it alone and let them know you’re home Monday when you get to school? They’ve called every day since you’ve left. Even came over five or six times, mum let them hang out for a bit. We’ve all been so worried. Pat’s been…Well, Cole can tell you that I guess,” Will said quietly.

“When they call tomorrow, tell them I don’t ever want to see them again,” I hissed trying to keep the tears out of my eyes. Trying to make it look like I was pissed rather than dying on the inside.

“What?!” Will balked at me, “What, why? They’re your best friends. Why don’t you want to…”?

“It’s complicated but I can’t see them again,” I hissed, “Just tell them to fuck off.”

“John,” Will said as I held open the elevator because it was closing in front of me letting it slide shut as Will stared at me in confusion. That’s when I noticed even he looked different. No longer the little boy I had left behind but, someone else. Someone that maybe I didn’t know at all. 

Even his hair was different. The sides of his head almost shaved leaving just a little bit of length in the center of his head. A wide strip of hair that seemed to have been left long on purpose, so someone could grab it. So, someone could pull on it if they wanted to. The thought that someone would do that to him making my stomach hurt, my heart ache until I couldn’t bear to think about it anymore.

It felt like it was just another sign of what a failure I was. That I had failed to protect not only myself but, him. And not just him but, eventually all of them. That everything I had tried to achieve in my life so far, I had failed at.

Once lift was shut and I made it upstairs I ran to my room shutting the door behind me careful not to slam it before I went into my bathroom. I didn’t even turn on the light before I fell to the ground tearing off my shirt and stuffing my rug into my mouth to scream. I told myself it was better this way. Better to make a clean break than to have to look at all of them.

Watch their faces as they realized they hated me. Realized I wasn’t anything but a used-up piece of shit that people came in and all over. This way was better than that. Better than watching them decide they hated me.

When I was done crying and felt like I wasn’t frozen to the spot where I left my soul dead I got up and turned on the water first and then the bathroom light. Changing it over to the shower head and then blocking up the bottom of the tub with the stopper even though the shower head was going. At least this way maybe if I tried hard enough I could see what they had done being rinsed away and watch it disappear down the drain. At least this way I could maybe, just maybe pretend it was all a choice. Something I was giving away instead of being forced to give up.

I let the water run until it was cold, scrubbing myself repeatedly rinsing the soap and then scrubbing myself again and again until I figured I probably had no more skin left. No skin left that they had touched. At least not on the outside. I only stood up after the water I was sitting in had slowly drained away drying my hair forcefully and then wrapping the towel around my waist.

When I opened the door my heart leap as I nearly jumped 10 feet in the air Will sitting on my bed, “DON’T FUCKING DO THAT!” I shouted.

“You’re more skittish than you were,” he commented.

“Keen observation Sherlock,” I hissed.

“John, please? It’s me,” Will said, “What did they do?”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s over now,” I said, “Can you leave?”

“John, it’s not over. I see it in your face, what did they do?” He asked me.

“What do you think Will? They fucked me, ok?” I hissed, “You happy? Can you go now?”

“John, tell me or I’ll call them for real and I’ll tell them to come,” he said.

At that, I felt my mask slipping. They couldn’t see me like this. I didn’t want anyone to see me like this. I turned around folding my arms around my chest trying to hide my tears. They didn’t need to see me like this.

“John,” Will said softly, “Please, just tell me even if you can’t tell anyone else. I know Da, and I’ve been with him. Just tell me what happened.”

“Da planned it,” I said after taking a deep breath, after allowing my heart to still once again. “It was for my birthday. They called it boy gets candle blown 14 times.”

“What?” Will frowned while still managing to raise an eyebrow, “What are you talking about? Boy gets can…” His face fell in understanding.

“Yeah,” I said.

“So, like did he…just like 14 times or…”

“14 people. Most I have never met,” I answered, “They didn’t just blow me some of them…” I trailed off.

“John, I’m so sorry. Does anyone know? I mean besides Da, besides him? Does…” I cut him off.

“No. I’m not allowed to talk to them anymore. He knows Will and if he thinks I’m talking to him he’ll tell Da. He and Rich have made it clear I’m not even supposed to breathe the…” my words hitched, “the same air as him. They don’t…I’m not supposed to be with any of them ever. I’m Rich’s. I’m…”

“No,” Will shook his head, “No, we’ll figure something out ok? They don’t get to decide who you hang out with.”

“Yes,” I answered numbly licking my dry lips,” Yes, they do.”

“Do you not want to talk to them anymore? To him?” Will asked me, “I thought you…”

“I do, don’t you get it? That’s why…I can’t let him see me like this. He can’t know. He’ll hate me,” I said my whole body shaking with the effort of sharing my fear. Of him looking at me and seeing how worthless I was. How nasty I was.

“He would never hate you, John. He’s been hysterical. He keeps blaming himself, Cole said he kept talking about telling them everything hoping they would just bring you back, so he could say goodbye. He was basically going to kill himself just, so he could see you one last time,” Will said frowning, “I know you love him but, he’s my friend too. The days they did come over here he spent most of it right here.” Will said touching the spot on the bed next to the wall, “right here curled in a ball hugging your pillow.”

“He did?” I asked barely above a whisper. So, life hadn’t continued without me.

“Yeah,” Will said, “Are you sure you don’t want to see him?”

“It’s…” I said choking on air, “It’s safer if I…if I don’t.”

“John,” Will said and I could see he was crying softly, “Come here.”

He held out his arms for me and allowed me to hug him. My weigh almost pulling us both over. It made me thankful we were on my bed as my little brother ran his hand through my hair letting me cry, letting me finally sob the way I needed to with someone who mattered. Someone who actually cared about me and not someone who just thought they did. Someone who was just thinking about what they could do to me once I was back to “normal” whatever that was.

“We were all so scared,” he muttered softly, “All of us. Catty asked for you the whole time. I’m surprised she’s not up here right now. Mum probably told them to give you some space.”

“I don’t know why,” I said quietly, “I don’t know why you guys even cared it’s not like I…”

“Like you what? Like you take care of us? Like you’ve done everything you can to make sure we’re all as safe as you can make us? You do those things all the time. We’d be stupid not to miss you. Stupid not to know it’s smart to worry about you,” Will muttered, “Other than that, how did they treat you?”

“At night I was in a chastity belt with a hole in the front, so I could pee. They fed me just fine but it …I’m so tired Will. I just wish I could sleep,” I answered.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Will asked me.

I sighed. I had barely slept when I was there the words from whoever had been on top of me that day echoing in my head once it went silent. Once the cameras were turned off and everyone was gone but Leo.

Leo who pressed against my back and Tony and Rich asleep in the other room. All the words running together in my head and bouncing off one another until the sun rose and the whole thing restarted with new faces, new words, new hands. It was still hard to believe that it was over. That I had managed to survive.

“I have sleeping pills in my nightstand. Can you give me one?” I asked Will.

“Yeah,” he said moving so he slid out from under me where my head had been resting in his lap.

Before I would have never even considered a sleeping pill on my own, but I knew if I ever wanted to sleep again I should take one. Take one and pray for a sleep that was dreamless, so I wasn’t trapped in nightmares I couldn’t escape. Trapped in more nightmares that I couldn’t escape because God knew I couldn’t escape the nightmare that being awake was.

“Want me to get you some water?” Will asked me and I nodded my head as he pulled the prescription bottle out setting it on the nightstand next to my table lamp and walked into my bathroom.

I stared at the bottle before picking it up turning it over in my hands rolling it on my palm slowly like a child would flip a toy car upside down and spin the wheels of it slowly, investigating it. I wondered what taking them all would do. If it would silence the echoes. If it would make my heart stop hurting. If it would make the thought of being without him not hurt so much.

“John?” Will asked coming over calmly and taking the bottle gently from my hand before uncapping them and handing me one pill, “Please don’t think that.”

“Think what?” I said trying to sound innocent. We both knew he knew. He had been the one to find me before.

“Killing yourself or trying to isn’t going to help you or him,” Will stated.

I nodded my head in agreement. He was right after all. At least if I was alive I knew he was in the world with me. That should bring me some comfort even though at that moment all it was bringing me was pain and longing. Longing to feel his hands on my skin. To hear him tell me I was ok. That things would be ok even if it was a lie.

“I’m surprised mum didn’t say anything more,” Will commented after a minute or two of silence before he finally handed me the glass allowing me to swallow my pill.

“About what?” I asked after I swallowed.

He smiled lightly and shook his head, “nothing.”

I sighed figuring what that meant and went to go look in the mirror me still only wearing a towel around my waist. There were finger-shaped bruises all over the skin on my neck and some round dark spots almost purple and very angry looking peppering my skin all the way down past the towel that hung loosely at my hips. I thought of how Pat would react if he could see me. What he would know.

“Your knees have it too, what about your back?” Will asked me and I shrugged my shoulders my body feeling like one giant knot that had just been untangled the sleeping pill finally starting to take effect, finally allowing me to start relaxing.

I sighed thinking about how I had school on Monday. How there wasn’t going to be any possible way to hide this in gym class or even hide all the hickeys in my regular uniform. Fuck numbers one through 14. Fuck them with the end of a broom handle I thought bitterly looking at my skin before I stood up throwing my towel on the floor and going over to my dresser grabbing clothes and putting them on.

I heard a tiny cough and saw Will facing the door when I turned around to look the back of his neck flushed pink as well as his ears, “I don’t think you’ve ever…”

I shrugged my shoulders, “When you spend 12 days in a room naked with 11 men at any given time you kind of…” I trailed off pulling my shirt over my before I reached down putting some boxers on, “You can turn around now.”

“Sorry,” Will mumbled looking at his feet.

“It’s not like you haven’t seen me naked before you know?” I pointed out.

“Yeah. Yeah, I know it’s just…it’s different. Usually, it’s because they make us,” he answered.

I nodded my head making a sound of agreement before pulling back my sheets and climbing into bed, “I think my pill is starting to kick in. Can you tell mum I’ll talk to her in the morning?” I asked him.

“Yeah, of course. I’ll tell her you fell asleep,” he answered.

“You won’t tell her anything else, will you?” I asked him.

“Not if that’s your way of saying not to,” Will said a look of seriousness in his eyes.

“I’ll tell her. I just. Just give me time ok?” I said.

“I understand,” Will answered as he opened the door slowly to leave.

“Will?” I asked stopping him making him turn his head back to look at me.

“Yeah?” He asked me quietly.

“Thanks, for…for being here,” I answered, and he nodded his head.

“You know I love you no matter what right, John? I mean you’re my brother. I could never stop loving you. Not after everything you’ve done for me, for us,” he said referring to our other siblings.

“Thanks,” I answered, “I love you too.”


End file.
